You ARE Good Enough!
Obviously, you're reading this which means you're probably stuck somewhere in life. So you went online searching for answers. You came to the conclusion your negative core beliefs are the issue and now you're ready to deal with them. Well, TODAY is your lucky day! You don't need to pick at yourself or solicit more advice from 'Dr. Google'! No more peeling away at the proverbial onion to learn your deep dark negative belief which holds back the floodgates of UBER ABUNDANCE!!
The homework has been done for you!
I spent some time...ok, I confess, perhaps paralysis through analysis... to uncover the Number One Negative Core Belief. Believe it or not, most people with a pulse carry this same negative core belief in some aspect of their life.
Here it is...
I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Are you surprised? Think about it for a few minutes. Makes total sense, right?
I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH can describe a multitude of situations in your everyday life:
Believing that you are not good enough can lead to a life not lived to it's fullest.
(so please check out that link above because it will really break down the I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH Core Belief)
Let me preface something: Negative Core Beliefs Aren't Real. They just feel real and you've been living your entire life, probably making some bad choices, based on that one particular belief. So in theory, where you are today is based on your beliefs. And if it's a train wreck in one or more aspects of your life, it's probably because you are believing the untruths of the negative core belief I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
And how do you change this belief? Well, you can't. There's no magic pill or 'one prong approach'. Keep in mind, you have saved precious time by learning TODAY about your negative core belief so that's half the battle! You can stop searching and choose to make tomorrow different! The first step is to balance that negative belief with beliefs, statements, affirmations which are positive and begin to 'debunk' "I am not good enough":
Start by saying I AM GOOD ENOUGH or any positive I AM statements to support your new 'positive' belief. Do this all the time! Write a few statements down and refer to them constantly! Soon you will start believing these new statements are true!
Next, look outside of yourself at your life and the people, places, and things around you. You may have a significant person in your life, children, friends ...all who reinforce you are loved and ENOUGH. These are the fruits of your labor which prove "You are good enough"! Start making yourself more aware of the GOOD in your life!
Another great resource in changing this negative core belief is the Lefkoe Method. This process has helped many rid themselves of beliefs which hold them back from achieving goals. I suggest you check this out if you are serious about moving forward in your life!
Continue to surround yourself with those who compliment, support, encourage and love you. Start believing and receiving what they say. A funny thing happens when you disconnect or set boundaries with the dysfunctional people in your life...YOU HEAL! Over time, the positive voices you hear will be louder and will actually insulate you, like a magical force field, from negative thoughts and comments. So, in theory, you are simply working towards balancing the bad from the good until your glass is more than half-full all the time!
In time you will no longer have the "I am not good enough" belief. It may be a slow process but anything you do to think and feel good about yourself allows you to stay the course to be the best version of yourself!
Thanks for reading this post and for the emails!
Peace and Blessings~
Celeste
Get Back on YOUR Track!
There's so much in cyber space about setting boundaries. What's the hoopla around it all? If it's all unfamiliar to you it's because you weren't raised with clear concise boundaries. Imagine that?
Like the majority of people, boundaries being violated started when you were very young.
Hmm...why does it all go back to potty training days??
Way back then it was innocent, or so you thought. Remember, you were young and didn't have much say. It may have been someone making you do something which felt uncomfortable. Something as simple as making you eat something that tasted nasty. And you did it just to please them or better yet, shut them up. Or something much more hurtful. Then the process took over and it became all you knew. After awhile your reality of people being boundary-less was another easily accepted pattern like chewing gum and walking.
Now as adults, all these weird feelings are coming to the surface, like a big zit which needs to be popped! It's not just boundary setting...there's a slew of other stuff rising to the surface. It's called DIS-ease. You can feel it at work, at home, in public. People 'spilling their proverbial milk' into your life or violating your personal space, is a good example. I don't want to make this blog all 'doomer talk'. Quite the contrary. It's focus is to make you aware so you can become strong and live your life... so you can move forward and feel good about yourself.
Setting boundaries is just part of the process to your personal freedom and getting more centered.
Here's why we need to have and continue to set boundaries around ourselves: For self protection. Boundaries are personal rules, limits, guidelines we set up for ourselves to define what is safe and healthy so we can create and maintain a healthy self.
Setting boundaries and respecting others boundaries allow us to take responsibility for our lives...like an adult...thus creating our own destiny. If you allow people to walk all over you, there's a pretty good chance you're not living the life intended for YOU. And you feel DIS-ease most of the time.
HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES
1. FEEL IT.
C'mon, you know how you feel when someone has violated your boundary! Stop lying to yourself! You feel angry, resentful... you've been complaining and/or whining about people or situations. Set the boundary! Your inner self is trying desperately to get your outer self to do something about this!
2. DEAL WITH IT.
This next step is the painful one because you actually must DO something. Here it comes... Set the boundary clearly: Here's a good way to start: Say NO. Or Perhaps, "No,that doesn't work for me." Do not justify, explain, apologize or become defensive. Don't argue your point. Just be calm and firm when you set a boundary. Here's a good tip: Visualize yourself forming a line in the sand.
3. DON'T LOOK BACK
At first you may feel badly or guilty. Don't let the emotions of others bleed into you! You are not responsible for the feelings of others! You are only responsible for feeling good about yourself! Expect the control freaks in your life to get upset with you! Remember, that's their stuff! If they don't speak with you after you've set a boundary, GOOD RIDDANCE!' You are much better off without them!
Most people will respect you and your boundaries. In fact, you'd be surprised how the 'healthy people' respond! They will actually respect you and adhere to your boundaries.
A few years back I set a boundary with a group of people. Ironically, something positive happened. Not only did they respect the boundary but they began to set up similar boundaries. Being responsible for yourself and your life could potentially create a domino effect for others around you!
All this boundary setting is a process so be gentle with yourself! It takes time and will happen when you are ready...when the DIS-ease is ready to be purged! In the meantime, build your support system with those who 'get you', who are empathetic to you.
Setting boundaries will be tough at first but in doing so, the real YOU will emerge and SHINE!
How awesome is that?
Love and Blessings!
Celeste
Why Forgive?
Well, first off, forgiveness isn't about those who have done you wrong. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness is so you stop beating yourself up.
So YOU can heal.
So YOU can love.
So YOU can live the life intended for YOU.
I'm going off this road for a second and change the subject entirely. Because that's who I am and what I typically do...
I recently read to have a blog at the top of search engines where more people will likely find it, you need to mention the topic of the blog numerous times. Here goes...
FORGIVE. FORGIVE. FORGIVE.
That said, who has done you wrong? Hurt you? Broke your heart? Tormented you? Beaten you down in any way? You know who they are because you think about them, talk about them and you don't typically have nice thoughts or words about these people. But they are your Achilles heal and your sad 'woe is me' story that keeps repeating like a Seinfeld episode. They are the answer WHY you may not be where you want to be in life, in relationships, in your bank account. They are those who held you back, caused much resentment, caused the demise to the life you were destined for. Right? Isn't that how you feel when you look back with your slouching shoulders? Isn't that what you do all the time? Lament constantly and talk about the past today, spitting up your crap on anyone who will hear you, who might validate those wounds so they will go away? But they never do, do they? Aren't you sick of hearing yourself?
Want another approach? Here it is, right between the eyes: FORGIVE.
Here's a little exercise: Imagine all these 'baddies' who did you wrong. Put them in a room in your mind. How much is their combined weight? 300 pounds? 500 lbs? An elevator full to capacity?
Now, imagine all that weight on your back...and you're carrying it around all day! And you're sleeping with that weight. That weight goes with you everywhere: it's with you during the holidays, in the shower, at the kids' soccer game, it's in the middle of your relationships, at the grocery store. It's heavy, isn't it? Draining huh? Cumbersome, exhausting...
That's what it feels like to be unforgiving.
But again, it's not about forgiving those who may have done injustices to you. IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM. IT'S ABOUT YOU! It's about sitting your butt down, getting quiet, stop looking in the past and pointing fingers. Then, perhaps get down and dirty, snotty nose crying if you must, and letting it all go....including your feelings which are wrapped around these people. Forgive them and as you do you forgive yourself for holding on to this ball and chain.
Forgiveness is so you stop beating yourself up over the past...stop carrying around all that pain today... which is holding you back from being the best version of yourself tomorrow.
That said, forgiving others doesn't necessarily mean you should continue to have them in your life or maintain relationships with them. It merely allows you to move forward in your life...with or without them. And it doesn't mean you must 'forgive and forget'. You can forgive but you have the option to remember what caused your pain so you don't repeat it again or perhaps allow your 'pain lesson' to help serve others.
Now, after all I've written, are you still stuck? Do you still think you can't forgive? There are some simple steps you can use and lots more information online.
For me, it was a weekend of being alone and writing down anything I'd thought I'd done wrong...whether people told me and/or derived pleasure from reminding me, embarrassing and shameful memories I already knew which went back to childhood or just thoughts of those who had done me wrong. Basically, I wrote what I thought I'd done wrong and how others wronged me. It was a very long list! For the record, I was tired of playing the victim to all of these thoughts! After I released it on paper, I then prayed to God to take the pain, hurt and burden away, then I burned it surrendering it all to the heavens. Sounds corny, but for me, it worked. I no longer walk around with a huge weight on my back! My heart is full for those who get me and love me the way I deserved to be loved!
In closing, I hope and pray you forgive yourself. It might take work...perhaps longer than a weekend...but in the end, you will love yourself and others more for it!
Love and Blessings!
Celeste
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
Wow! This is a RAW Topic for me!
I came to really understand shame a few years back. More importantly, the impact it had on my entire life. It's a sad fact: we all shame one another. However, if you want to feel good about yourself and also put good vibes in the universe, you will want to put the kabash on giving and/or receiving shame! Then you can begin giving empathy, compassion and love towards others...as it flows back to you!
That said, here's difference between shame and guilt. Just so we're clear...
Remember when you were young and broke something then tried to hide it? You were guilty of that. You DID something wrong. Now, if your parents found the object you broke and screamed and hollered calling you ignorant, you then felt you WERE something wrong.
Guilt is DOING something wrong. Shame is BEING something wrong.
Big difference, right?
I was raised Catholic. Many can relate to 'catholic guilt', right? But, is it guilt or is it shame? I'm not ripping apart Catholics or any other religion here. I'm merely stating, we were all shamed one way or another, regardless of religion. The term today might be 'bullying' to some degree. We are made keenly aware of our shortcomings. In turn, we feel bad about ourselves A LOT. Sadder is the fact that the person trying to shame us is usually projecting their gook on us ....globbing us with shame! Truth be told, they are no doubt a bucket of shame themselves! It's just easier to give it away than do something about it! Being shamed makes us feel ICKY...we just feel bad about ourselves ..like we have cooties. And if we're made to feel like there's something wrong with us on a regular, perhaps daily basis, it becomes all we know. It's the fiber of our existence!
I can tell you with impunity: if you feel bad about yourself A LOT, you are being shamed A LOT. But here's the harsh reality, it's someone right in front of you. Someone you think has your best interest at stake, someone you trust, perhaps love. Someone who is probably doing a slow 'chinese water torture' on you. This someone could be your boss, your spouse, your siblings, your friends...but most of the time it's your parent or earliest caregivers....because that's where it started. How sad is that? But try to put this in perspective: All those people did the best they could with the cards they were dealt.
Here's the deal...people who are habitual shamers, rarely IF EVER go to therapy or seek help. It's usually someone elses fault. They go through life living a patterned life of denial, excuses and blame...the trifecta of pointing fingers at others rather than changing. And that's ok; that's their gook! Exercise acceptance with these people but do your best to steer clear of them if at all possible. In time, you will begin to recognize the lack of feeling shamed merely from disconnecting from it as much as possible!
Here's the litmus test: If you feel pretty good about yourself and your life, then walk in a room of friends, family, fellow employees, etc. and you begin to feel like there's something wrong with you, perhaps your body language will even begin to change, you're probably being shamed on some level. You'll realize you're being put in scenarios to defend yourself and your actions. You're somewhat of a 'victim' in these situations. However, if you continue to go back to those same people or that same situation YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER, only to be treated like that again.
All I'm saying is LIFE IS HARD. When you finally start to feel good about yourself, why would you go in a lions den to be ripped apart...ever so subtly, by those claiming to care for you? Or worse, those YOU believe respect, love, honor you?
Aren't you sick of feeling bad about yourself?
Do you want to know how to shut shame down?
Now, I m not saying cut everyone from your life because that would be hard in a work or family environment. But if you feel insecure, depressed, have feelings of abandonment, can't maintain intimate relationships, cant seem to move forward in your life, feel unworthy, etc, etc, etc, it's time to take a stance and do something about it! Again, it's not a one prong approach. You probably need to put as much distance as you can between you and your shamers. I love this saying..."If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you!"
Then it becomes a personal 'balancing act'. You must do things for yourself to feel better...whether it be exercising, praying, meditating, journaling, gardening... self nurturing kinds of activities and practices. Most importantly, find people who will love and accept you just as your are, aka, "YOUR TRIBE".Those you can be vulnerable with and feel free to open up to which will help you learn new levels of intimacy and trust. Also, you might try turning the shame into guilt in your mind for certain scenarios. I know this sounds odd but it will lessen the pain of thinking there's something wrong with you all the time. It's better to believe you just DID something wrong. Albeit a hard tactic and will take some time to master. But you're worth it!
These little suggestions will help you feel good about yourself and increase your self image. Over time, you will feel so good that the shame others are trying to dump on you won't come near your healthy 'force field'. You will no longer be a participant to their shaming techniques, you will be a spectator; an observer looking at it from your new healthier exterior!
Love and Blessings~
Celeste
Too Pooped To Pop?
Do you wake every morning exhausted regardless how well you slept? Then grab a cup of coffee only to feel like you need a second or third cup? Can you remember a day without stress? How about depression? Feeling a little down...all the time? Is your immune system shot? Is you belly getting larger? Is it a spare tire? A muffin top?
Does this sound like you?
If so, what have you done to remedy any of these issues? Have you visited your doctor? Did they tell you it was age related? Perhaps situational depression due to present or ongoing life situations ? Did they prescribe popular drugs like Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft? Probably.
Here's a new flash: Those and similar drugs deplete your B Vitamins. I may not be an M.D.but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night therefore I know B Vitamins give you energy and cushion your nerves from stress. So if you're with me so far, you're putting 2 and 2 together. The more you take antidepressants, the more tired, more stressed you become. Also, your body doesn't even make B Vitamins. So basically, you're deficient from the get go. So these drugs are robbing a bank vault which is essentially empty unless you're supplementing with the right B Vitamins or you're eating the right food sources.
For those who have opted to avoid the Doctors office and want to take their health in their own hands, they may want to research something called Adrenal Fatigue.
What is it?
First,your adrenal glands (2) are about the size of a walnut and are responsible for probably the most important function in your body: to manage stress. When you've overloaded these little guys with so much stress, you've not only exhausted yourself but also the adrenals. Hence the term 'adrenal fatigue'. FACT: 80% of most people will suffer a form of adrenal fatigue in their lifetime and will probably be misdiagnosed!
The adrenals are located above your kidneys and part of your endocrine system. And why should care about that? Because your adrenal glands secrete more than 50 hormones, which are basically essential for life! I won't give you all the big names of these hormones but just know they do a laundry list of functions such as ... turn food to energy, support your immune system, normalize blood sugar, help to regulate blood pressure, control inflammation, support your 'flight or fight' response to stress, produce sex steroids like estrogen and testosterone.... to name a few.
It's ironic these glands control stress however, when you have too much stress, over long and chronic periods of time, perhaps your entire life, they are too pooped to pop! They pretty much just shut down! Once the adrenals are taxed everything else goes to hell in a handbag reeking havoc all over your body! You'll be more tired, even exhausted, depression probably sets in, you'll start storing that cortisol hormone around your middle and gain weight. There's a good chance you'll be sick ALOT and perhaps become allergic to things you never were, your body will ache due to increased inflammation, your sex life will be pretty much non existent and God only knows all the other health issues that will crop up!
So, what to do?
Now that you know the strain you are putting on these adrenals, there's no excuse NOT to attempt to deal with stress and other life habits which are adding to your problems. Seriously, aren't you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?
Healing your adrenals glands isn't a 'one prong approach'. You must make lifestyle modifications across the board....from reducing the amount of stress in your life, to diet changes and proper supplementation. Understandably, these changes will be hard at first. Be gentle with yourself during the process. Your little adrenal glands will love and appreciate all your efforts and in no time, you'll feel more like your old self!
Love and Blessings~
Celeste
The Rings of the Target
Where do you spend your time? Look at your day...where does time go? If you are fortunate to have some free time, what are you doing? Who are those you surround yourself with? What do you typically talk about? But more importantly, WHO are you talking about?
I'm just throwing those questions at you because it's frightening the time we waste in our days! We always scream we have no time but ironically, we waste countless hours typically on those on the 'outside' or 'outer ring' of the Archery Target.
What am I referring to? Think about the target in archery. There are typically 5 Rings. The Bulls Eye is the center, the most important ring to hit in archery...and also in life.
Now, let's think about our lives in relation to the Target...most importantly where we waste Time.
THE BULLS EYE: The Center of the target should be YOUR LIFE CENTER
What is bigger than you? What gives you strength when nothing else can? Is it God?? Jesus? Buddha? The Universe? Your personal 'center', your bulls eye should be that of which you are grateful and give praise. Maybe I'm completely off base here but who do you seek when times are tough? When you're in your deepest despair and alone? Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters? Probably not. I'm just saying, the bulls eye is the meaning and center of YOU and your life. Therefore, it's the biggest priority in your life. It's the mecca of your existence!
THE RED RING: This ring is YOU.
This is where you spend time, making yourself your biggest priority on this earthly plane. How often do you put the needs and concerns of others before you? Why? Do you really enjoy that way of life? Who are you kidding? Oh, you say you feel good and it's the right thing to do as you put others before you...because you're such a saint...
Let me assure you, there will come a time when you look back, glance at yourself in the mirror and ask why you put so much time and effort in others rather than yourself. And you will be tired, exhausted and resentful. I apologize for being so 'in your face', but it's the truth! Too many people I know, men and women, have put others before themselves...and everything before 'their God' and they're not too happy.
THE BLUE RING: This is your spouse, your significant other.(Hey, this could be your pet and I wouldn't judge you one bit!) If you are single and/or divorced with children they would be placed in this ring of focused attention. If you don't have children, this is your family, friends, colleagues. ...anyone really important in your life who adds to you. Get it?
So, if you're going along with the math, you've put 'Your God' first, giving thanks and praise. Again, you make YOU your # 1 Priority. Then and only then, you will have room for others. You've heard it a million times..."you can only love others if you love yourself first'. I personally regurgitated this statement on others but never took my own advice. Now I get it. I hope you do as well.
THE BLACK RING: Your children, family or those who add to you.
Bottom line: if you're married, your spouse comes first, then your kids. If you do it the other way around, you will have a miserable marriage. Period.
THE WHITE RING: This is where time is wasted.
This is the Nonsense, Time Suck-age Ring where time is spent with Emotional Vampires, Facebook, Google, Gossip, etc.
This is not time spent with 'your higher power', on yourself, your spouse, your significant other, your children or those who add to you. This is time where you gossip about fellow employees, friends, family, neighbors, where you waste countless hours 'creeping' through Facebook photos of exes....or better yet, talking with girlfriends about your sister in laws brother who started dating a woman you dislike....and you spend hours discussing how she treated you at a family function. REALLY???
Why is so much time spent thinking, talking or reacting to those who are not in our rings of the target of life? And why do we continue to do it? More importantly, how do we stop?
It's hard to change habits. Particularly those which continually serve as self sabotaging practices, conveniently preventing us from tapping into our purpose. I'm not telling you something you don't already know! You know you waste time! I've just laid it out for you in a simple way with this Archery Target.
Read my past BLOG on Gratitude. That will help you to stay in the Bulls Eye. Then spend some time on YOU in the Red Ring. The more time you spend on yourself, the quicker you will learn your true importance and won't want to waste time on the mundane WHITE RING. YOU and YOUR life will begin to matter.
Is there something you have done to avoid THE WHITE RING? Any tips you'd like to share?
What have you done, or plan to do to focus on the inner rings?
I'd love to hear some great insight to use personally and share!
Thanks for reading and sharing!
Peace and Blessings!
Celeste
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
I've decided to commit to
ONE WORD for 2015.
My WORD is ASK.
What does that mean?
Enlighten yourself and go to http://getoneword.com/
The theory behind One Word is simple: Every year people commit to New Year Resolutions they rarely keep. Sometimes their goals are so numerous and/or lofty they can't get out of the starting blocks and fail miserably, feeling more miserable about themselves! Subsequently, their New Year Resolution has been flushed down the toilet by Valentines Day. If you don't believe me, go to the gym in January: It's a MOB SCENE! Go back mid February. The gym is practically empty & it's apparent that New Year Resolutions don't work!
ONE WORD is just that...ONE WORD. It's also a great option to that New Year Resolution you can't/won't keep! The chosen 'WORD' encompasses the entire year. Your focus, in all areas of your life, will be that ONE WORD!! Ok, let's get down to a better understanding. Imagine if you chose 'Patience' as your Word. You decide the goal for the year is to be more patient with everything. How the Word PATIENCE applies in your life looks something like this:
Someone cuts you off in traffic. Your typical M.O. is to lay on the horn and perhaps flip someone the proverbial bird. But since your word is PATIENCE you can simply exhale and smile. You happily resume control of the wheel and accelerate the gas. In that case, your Word 'patience' worked.
It sounds all fine and dandy but then the hard part begins and be warned, you will be challenged! Let's just say, it won't be all positive, regardless of the word you choose! If your Word is patience, don't be surprised if you find yourself at the airport with a 4 hour flight delay ...or worse... sitting in a traffic jam unable to move and the closest public restroom is an empty water bottle in your car. That's all I'm saying...
Here's more to the concept if you truly want it to work for you....
When the ONE WORD arrives; either by your choice or through signs from the Universe, you post the WORD everywhere so it's a constant reminder. You then share it with the coolest, non judgmental people in your life who love you regardless. This way you stay the course and remain accountable to the Word.
Tip from C (aka, me!):
You CAN choose your Word but it's better to get quiet and let the WORD choose you.
How the Word ASK found me? It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I read the info on the One Word website and followed the instructions like a trooper. Then I completed a simple 4 day ONE WORD Lesson Plan on You Version. Ironically, with all this focused intention, The WORD was not coming to me! Dozens of words were running through my brain but nothing stuck; nothing felt like it was for me at this time. After a few days, I decided to let it go. Then, as luck would have it 'the Divine' presented a situation in my life which forced me pause and reflect. If you truly want personal growth in your life you can't ignore these situations. They land in your life on purpose!! If we can deal with these situations rather than brush them under the carpet, we can then begin to walk our predestined life path eventually leading to OUR PURPOSE!
During this recent situation, I decided to reach out to a girlfriend who would clearly have the answer I needed. I premeditated the back and forth ping pong match; my questions, her insights. Then, before I made the call it hit me...
WHY AM I ASKING FOR HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO IS AS LOST AS I AM?
Not to waste another moment I got quiet...real quiet. It's amazing what you begin to hear when it's just you and your inner voices. I decided to ask God for help. NIRVANA!! Within minutes a calm realization crept over me.... All I need to do, in all things, is ASK.
That's how the Word ASK found me. Through a life 'speed bump'. ..finally surrendering and ASKING GOD for the answer to my situation. As I move forward into the year, I plan to ASK for what I need...whether it be help, support, directions, a recipe for fish tacos, divine guidance or simply reply with a question rather than becoming defensive ! Ask, ask, ask and you shall receive, receive receive!
Lastly, while I was C-Searching, I found a great article on ASKING. Perhaps the article and the ONE WORD concept will help as you embark on this New Year!
Peace and Blessings!
Celeste
Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude!
Have you realized lately, everything you read or hear prompts you to be thankful, count your blessings and live in a state of gratitude? What's up with this?
Well, here's my take on it all and why we've been overwhelmed with fostering an Attitude of Gratitude:
Let's face it, we are being bombarded via social media, television, internet, tabloids and evening news constantly reminding us of all the things we don't have and all that we aren't!
Then it's shoved down our throats what we should be... whether it be in looks, brains or stature. Seriously, if we don't own the newest car, have the biggest kitchen, six pack abs, a meaningful job or have a closet like the 'Housewives', there is something significantly wrong with us! We wake to feel as if we don't have enough or will ever BE enough.... in a constant state of discontentment!!
It's such a shame how much we are SHAMED! Arrrrghhh!
With all this "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH" slapped in our face 24/7, being grateful for what we DO have is becoming increasingly more popular and actually much more necessary than we think. It's actually the only tool to bring a continual ray of sunshine in your life! Something so simple as being grateful for what you DO have can wash out a bad day of DON'T haves!
There has been much research on the benefits of gratitude. Get this, if you were to write just ONE little thing you were grateful for every day you would be 25% happier in six months after following this practice for just 3 weeks!! Imagine that? 25% happier and you didn't even need to buy the newest Ipad or Keep Up with the Kardashians! And not only are grateful people happier but they are healthier! They have fewer diseases, get more sleep and have less stress! Therefore, being thankful for your cozy bed could actually translate to a better nights sleep!
Why not start today? You have nothing to lose and tons of happiness to look forward to! You can be grateful out loud or actually start a gratitude journal. If you don't have a journal, do what I do: head to your local Dollar Store and buy the Old Fashioned Black and White Composition Notebook. It doesn't matter how, when or where you exercise gratitude just as long as you are consistent! Start being thankful for everything and anything!
In 2009 I began writing in a gratitude journal. During the past five years, I've made it a point to write thankful thoughts regardless how difficult things are. Believe me, life isn't always rosy. There are days when you truly have reasons to feel sad and miserable.But I've found, if you can find something to be grateful for, your attitude and perhaps your situation will shift and you've kicked that "woe is me' victim attitude to the curb!
Be mindful of all the blessings given you daily...the penny found on the sidewalk... a sunset....the coffee you're slurping as you read this. Take the time to be grateful. More importantly, MAKE the time to be grateful! In no time you will begin to see the glass half full all the time. I can't make this stuff up!!
Soon you will become one of those happy, loving, smiling, enthusiastic, 'crazy fun' individuals you've always wondered about...
Love and Blessings~
C
What's YOUR Twinkie?
How hard is it NOT to judge? To shut your mouth, not voice your opinion and accept a person for who they are?
Don't lie! It's so hard and you know it!
We judge constantly. In truth, we judge others based on what and who we think they should be based on who we are.
Aren't we soooo special and perfect that we can point fingers at others as we ignore our own issues??? But seriously, isn't easier to find faults in others rather than come to terms with our own gook and actually do something about it?
Here's a great story:
I had a friend who was teaching a weight management class. This class would meet weekly and learn about healthy eating habits and adhere to a fairly strict low glycemic lifestyle. One particular woman in the class caved during the week and fessed up to eating Twinkies. My friend went ballistic and was all over her like white on rice! She shamed this 'yellow cream filled cake eating' yo yo dieter! She truly couldn't understand how someone could eat unhealthy processed food when claiming to want to lose body fat and inches! She couldn't identify with her because she herself "would never eat a Twinkie!" A statement like "If I were you, I would stick to the food plan outlined in the class" spilled from her mouth.
"If I were you...."
Isn't that funny? How often do we make that statement? How often do we think the other person should be US? Have the same thoughts and do the same things we're supposed to do? How sad that we can't see outside ourselves and notice the individual directly in front of us? More importantly have the awareness they're different and can't possibly think and do as we do. For most of us we only see a person based on WHO we are. And we rarely, if ever notice our own gook. But we're pros at pointing out someones shortcomings!
Well, for my friend, this Twinkie incident became her big AH-HA moment:
That evening she began to think about the woman ...how real and authentic she was... to be so honest and share with others her personal weakness. When in reality, she showed strength to be so vulnerable in hopes to receive the help to stay on course with healthy eating.Then my friend thought about herself with a major life altering epiphany: Her life consisted of one bad, unhealthy relationship after another. She would pick the same type of man and wondered why it ended poorly. Yet, she continued to do it over and over again. She claimed to want a healthy relationship but continued to date men who were as toxic and unhealthy as the Twinkie! The lightbulb went off...
"OMG!! I have my own TWINKIE issue!!"
Yes. Everyone has their Twinkie! Everyone has baggage. Everyone has something they're trying hide, identify or overcome. Most people are hurting from one thing or another...whether they are transparent about it or not. Whether they are trying to heal or trying to mask the hurt..but everyone has their Twinkie.
What's the moral of the story ?
Work to 'clean your own step' and try not to judge and point fingers at others.
Accept people for who they are.
Everyone is doing the best they can at this particular time. We need to cut people a break! Lighten up on them because we really don't know what they're going through. We don't know their Twinkie issue!! Remembering we are all different, unique individuals not cut from the same cloth. Accepting people for who they are and understanding they have issues too and letting it all go. Then make the healthy choice to love those for where they are right now, at this moment.
Don't get me wrong, there will be people in your life who no longer serve you; perhaps those you don't spiritually trust. You can still love them, but from a distance! You get their story and they get yours. Maybe not. But it doesn't matter. These are people who are no longer a part of your 'tribe'. Plain and simple. So send them off with love and pray for them. And if necessary, do the work to forgive them so you can forgive yourself. But accept who they are and no longer judge them.
Make the investment in you to diminish your personal 'Twinkies'! Once you choose to come from a place of kindness and acceptance, judging will be a thing of the past!
And btw, I know Twinkies aren't healthy. But scroll back up and look at that picture...YUM!
I could totally eat a package as I type this!
Thanks for sharing this post with others!
Peace and Blessings!
Celeste
